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John McFunkster
"John McFunkster is...at best, a liability, and at worst a danger to the entire IMD. However, he is still a...valued...member of the organization." Biography: John McFunkster was born on Earth in the year 220 PND. John lived with his atmospheric analyst mother, miner father, brother Klaus, and their robotic spider pet named Zywokikikita. Life was relatively quiet, although frequent power outages and occasional MRPU death squads kept the family on their toes. John's quiet life ended, however, upon his discovery of a pair of vintage Old World tinted aviator glasses. Unaware of what they were, John gifted them to his close friend Abu al Sharif. Sharif was shot 73 times upon exiting the school property. Things only became weirder. John arrived home to find a KPD officer guarding his home, but did not respond to visual or auditory attempts at communication. When his family went to the doctor's without him, John attempted to eat a banana. This action triggered the KPD officer, who was just too late to stop John from peeling the food item. A large explosion obliterated John's house, leaving John and a banana peel alone amidst a pile of rubble. As part of the investigation, John was relocated to a relative's house. Uncle Bungo Gonzalez was a scientist working on experimental clock technology for the Kodian Empire's government. John waited with his uncle for the right moment to escape, which came when the building exploded. Once more John was left amidst the pile of rubble with a banana peel and the body of his uncle. John, now determined to hunt down the potassium-based terrorists, put on the glasses he had stolen from Abu's corpse and began his quest. John also weaponized Bungo's clock technology with the help of his robotic spider ally Zywokikikita. John began his first mission as bounty hunter, hitting up lead after lead of people suspected to be involved in the potassium-based explosions. This did not keep the now-17-year-old John McFunkster from his schooling, however, as the young man kept up on his online classes. Using the knowledge from his classes John continued to interrogate and brutalize (but not kill) anyone and everyone he found associated with the terrorists. However, john's investigation came to an end when finishing a quantum mechanics quiz, he realized that his information so far had man holes in it! Believing that he needed a new approach, he returned to Zywokikikita for help and to look over Bungo's notes once more. John and his robotic companion mulled over the notes and fiddled with parts all night, trying to understnad Bungo's cryptic writing. Through their hours of effort, John and spider accomplished their task, and by dawn's first light the duo had built a contraption worthy of a science fair prize. With the new device in tow, John retraced his steps, seeking out the information they lacked. This new crusade drew more attention than the first, leaving various members of the underground community crippled and castrated, left only with the signature symbol of John's new weapon- a blood-stained metal gear.